A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words...

 This might look like an ordinary baby picture to most, but it is so special to me. Why? Maybe I'm crazy, but I have always felt that it held a symbolic message. The message that no matter how combative, or irritable, or spaced out, my son ever seemed, underneath it all was a sweet, smiling, loving child. A message from a higher power that knows more than me and sees what I cannot. How does this picture say all of that? I'll tell you...

  When Tallen was 11 weeks old, his father was going out of town to a meeting of a hunting club, where he is a board member. At the last minute, he asked me to take a picture of Tallen and print it out, so he would have a current photo to show all of his old friends. I sat Tallen in his swing and went to grab the camera. By the time I returned, he was whining, thrashing, twisting, making it no secret that he hated being in the swing seat. In a nutshell, he was very distraught. My husband was in such a hurry to leave that I had no choice but to take a picture of our crying baby to send with him. I said," Oh well, he is just a baby, after all. And babies cry.  I'm sure your friends know that..." and I snapped the picture.

  After seeing the results in the preview screen, we both stared at each other with very surprised faces. As you can see above, he does not appear to be upset, not even a little bit. Somehow, in what had to be a micro-second, I snapped this beautiful shot, even in the midst of a crying fit. A fit that was still in progress when we were viewing this amazing photo...

  At the time, I thought it was just a lucky fluke. But I have come to understand that it was Tallen, sending me a sign of hope, that I didn't even realize I needed at that time, but one that has gotten me through some of our darkest hours...

  "Mama, I'm in here. I'm a real little boy, with a real smile,  real hugs, real kisses, real laughter. No matter what anyone says, I AM REAL and I AM  IN HERE. And you Mama, it is up to you to see what others are blind too. Up to you to spot that fleeting glimmer of normalcy, in the midst of chaos, and grab me quick and hold on tight, lest I flutter away again. You can't ever give up. Yours is the hand I will hold, as I stumble through this darkness. And yours is the hand that will gently pull me into the sunlight. I love you, Mama."

  Thank you, Tallen. What a beautiful message...

Love, 

Mama