Happy Birthday, Tallen!

I prayed to God,

“Can you please spare
A little boy with golden hair?
One that looks a lot like me?
That’s just right for our family?

With his big sister’s gift of song,
A smile that just won’t quit,
And his big brother’s love of art,
He’ll be a perfect fit!

Make him wise beyond his years,
Adored by those he knows.
And so he’ll stand above the crowd,
Please put him on his toes!”

God listened to this mother’s prayer
And made my dreams come true.
Six years ago, on this very day,
He blessed me with you!

© 2009 SRF-TGR

I love you, my precious boy. Thank you for taking my once average life and making it an amazing adventure!

Birthday Woes

At the end of this month, Tallen will turn six years old. Average kids tend to get excited about birthdays. Tallen has never been like that. His first couple of birthdays, there was really no reaction to the party, cake, or gifts, whatsoever. By his third birthday, he went into a screaming fit, hands clamped over his ears, when everyone began singing Happy Birthday. He would do this at other peoples' birthday parties as well. Of course, so many people singing the song at once was an assault on his sensitive ears. So, we stopped singing it on his birthday and quietly "whisper sing" it, behind Tallen's back, to other family members on their birthdays.

On his fourth birthday, I had Tallen dressed up so handsomely in a new outfit. Ten minutes into the party, he had already stripped down to his underwear LOL He absolutely hated wearing clothes back then. All the guests were aware of Tallen's Asperger's and just laughed off their initial shock and the party went wonderfully. Later that night however, I awoke to Tallen screaming, "Fire, Mama! Fire!". I stumbled through the house, absolutely terrified! When I found Tallen, he was sitting in the floor, playing with a new truck he had received for his birthday, pointing to the flame decals on the side and screaming , "Fire!" LOL I must have nine lives, as he has given me many scares like this.

His fifth birthday went off without a hitch. We had a shrimp dinner (his favorite) and cake and ice cream, and nobody sang "the song".

This year, I can feel trouble brewing. A couple of months ago, Tallen's older sister reminded him that he would soon be six years old and would then be a big boy. He ran from the room crying and was out of sorts for many hours after. He finally said, " I don't want to be six years old! Then I'll be a big boy forever!" He is very sensitive about being called anything but a boy. He doesn't want to be a big boy. He even refuses to wear the Super Man PJs that his aunt gave him. When I asked him why, he said, "Because I am NOT a man. LOL Whenever I ask what sort of cake he might want for his party or similar questions, he falls silent and walks out of the room. I feel so sad for him, that he is so troubled. I am even wondering if, to spare him the trauma, maybe we should just not even make a big deal out of his birthday. Then I have visions of his calling me out on Dr. Phil, twenty years from now, because I didn't celebrate his sixth birthday. LOL

I'm Not Expecting Starbucks To Market This Flavor In The Forseeable Future

Hubs is out of town. So yesterday evening, I parked myself in his usual spot on the sofa, propped up my feet, and was enjoying having control of the TV remote. I had just made a cup of coffee and it was sitting on the end table, by the sofa. After setting the TV to a channel I would enjoy, I turned to pick up my coffee. Tallen was standing by the end table, smiling at me. This alone, made me a tad paranoid. I noticed the contents of my cup sloshing back and forth a little, like maybe the cup had just been sat down.

"Tallen?", I asked. " Did you pour something into my coffee?"

"No.", He replied calmly, still smiling. "Your coffee tastes fine, I didn't pour anything in there."

Thinking that perhaps he had merely bumped into the table, causing the ripples I had seen, I picked up my cup and proceeded to take a few sips. That's when Tallen whips his hands from behind his back. One contains a towel, the other contains his little wind-up Thomas the Tank Engine. The same Thomas the Tank Engine that I have found in the floor many times, that I am positive I have seen in the dogs mouth, that Tallen loves "driving" through the dirt, that, as I recall, I even had to rescue from the toilet once. That one!

I was still trying to decode the reasons for the items in his hands, when he proudly announced,
"I didn't pour anything into your coffee, Mama. But I did wash my train and now he is all sparkly clean! I just need to finish drying him off."

"Washed? Tallen, did you put that toy into my coffee?"

"Yes, Mama. He needed a hot bath."

In Your Eyes

I have hesitated to ever mention this to anyone but friends and family. I'm not sure why. Maybe afraid that others would think I was crazy or seeing something that just isn't there. But the fact is, it is there. I see it quite frequently and now I feel compelled to ask others if they have noticed it as well.

The "it" I speak of is the very defined, beautiful, almost as if they were drawn on, eyebrows of children with Asperger's. I have also noticed this feature in children that are said to have High Functioning Autism. It is also apparant in adults with Asperger's but sometimes, I guess because of age or grooming, it isn't there. This may be something, this may be nothing. But it is definitely there. Have any of you noticed this feature? At this point, I dare say that I could almost pick a child with Asperger's from a lineup, just by looking at his brows.

At first I thought that this was just a coincidence, but I see it more and more. A child with Down's Syndrome has very distinct features i.e. almond shaped eyes. What if children with Asperger's also have a telling feature? Maybe this could lead to earlier diagnosis... I dunno. Just a thought.

Rise and Shine!

I was awakened this morning by what sounded like a herd of wildebeests stomping through my home. Mind you, this was at 4:00 A.M. The sound is coming from the kitchen STOMP STOMP STOMP. I swear, the window glasses were rattling! I find Tallen, with much glee, jumping and stomping as hard as he could go. "Tallen!" I said, "You have to stop that, everyone else is trying to sleep.!" Without stopping, he breathlessly replied, "I can't help it Mom. I hear Irish Music. Lots and lots of Irish music!" There was no music playing. But anyway, how precious is that? That got him the very stern punishment of a hug and a kiss on the forehead....

Church

I am really struggling with something, as of late...

I would love to begin attending a real church with my family. I know that when even 2 people come together and discuss the Lord, that should be considered gathering in worship. But, I would love for the kids to attend Sunday school. I would love to sing in the choir. I would just love the feeling of having a church "family". But, because of Tallen, I am afraid to go.

I have the normal worries of him maybe disrupting the service, especially when there is singing etc..., as that is an assualt on his ears. But that isn't even my biggest worry, I stopped giving much regard to what people think ages ago. My worry is that it will scare Tallen. He takes everything so literally. I remember being about four years old and a guest preacher at our church put on a real "Hell fire and brim stone" sermon, screaming to the congregation that Jesus was coming to take us all home. I had nightmares for weeks because the last thing I wanted was for anyone to come take me away from my home.

I know that Tallen will internalize everything that he hears at church and will probably be scared silly. Like when someone told him he sure was growing up and he stressed for weeks, thinking he was growing too big for the house etc... I just don't know what to do...

COPING: A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR PEOPLE WITH ASPERGER SYNDROME

You can read this book on the web. There is also information as to where you can purchase the hard copy.
http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~alistair/survival/index.html